Three Things And A Lizard

Elliott Milbourn is a cunt

2011-11-25T16:40:00.000-08:00

Elliott Milbourn is a cunt. That is all.

Independance

2011-06-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

Not allowed to go on my own laptop. Not even allowed to have a drink. Not even allowed to do anything. No independance. Utter shite.

Driving, Sadness and Doctor Who

2011-05-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well another addition to my blog. I know for sure Mitchell will read this because it's not normal that I type for ages. He'll want to investigate. So anyway, I'm driving again which is good. Someday I shall be able to drive a car by myself. Yay!
On a lower note, I am depressed again. I do not know why. I really don't. Might need to see another doctor before my other appointment. Because my doctor is a prick.

OMG Doctor Who has been soooooo good lately. Who is River Song? Who is the girl that re-generated? AND who is the eye-patch lady???? I can't wait to find out!!!!!!

So many clues dotted around, you can't blame me when I found you. Prick. One day you will say something that will be your downfall and then I will be the one laughing. Hahahahahaha!!!

AJ, Lamrini and Me

2011-04-07T17:38:00.001-07:00

Hmm speaking to him again. Weird. Love my chucken.

Loves lambrini.

And i loves my blond streaks in my hair!!

Lamrini, Pills and Rosie

2011-04-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well as you know my favorite alcohol drink is Lambrini. Neddy, I know but it's nice.
I'm rather depressed again. I don't know why. I think maybe its because I Haven't got over my gran dying. I dunno. Least I've got an appointment to see the psychiatrist so thats good.

I just realised that because Im sitting doing nothing all day every day I could be raising money for the greyhound trust! Maybe I'll book the charity shop for a day. Who knows. We shall see.

Jobs Pills and 3DS

2011-03-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well Mitchell's brother has a job. Big mistake. He insists that HE has the car each time he has work. Hmm very good. Your own mother has to go to the hospital tomorrow and get 2 buses and you are refusing to get a bus because you dont want to walk... Spoilt Bastard

My doctor has failed me. I wanted new medication but he doesnt want to give me anything. But he did send me to a psychiatrist. I suppose thats good.

Oh and the 3ds is out friday but I'm not allowed to get it. Even though it is me that gets the ideas of how to get money. Oh well. I better get something though...

Co-Codamol, Showers and 21.

2011-01-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

Well I have Sinisitus. Its not very nice and I would never wish it on anyone. It gave me a three day migrane which was unbearable and made me phone NHS 24! But thankfully the doctor gave me some co-codamol (the strong one) which I would have killed for on new years day! I haven't had the symptoms since so I will be keeping the co-codamol for an emergency like that!

On another note, the shower is wrecked. So I have been washing my hair in the sink recently. But now we can go to the upstairs flat and use their shower/bath. Yay! No, not yay. The shower has two settings - 1. Blisteringly Hot, 2. F*****g Hot!. At least I can have a bath... With no plug and the water comes out the tap at a snails pace. I'd rather have my sink...

Well it's my birthday in a week and I'll be 21. Exciting? Oh yes! It will be great!

Is Helen Cutter really dead? Or was she a clone?

Long Time, No Speak

2010-12-09T15:43:00.000-08:00

Oh dear me, what a complete Freak I was in 2009!
To update you all dear readers, I am now living with my Fiancee Mitchell in Maybole. I don't have any feeling for my ex whom i described in posts before this one.
I am currently sitting in the dining room (now used as a living room) of an old manor house in Maybole. And I couldn't be happier! I am engaged to the most loving, kind, trustworthy and awesome person in the world - Mitchell. Mitchells family could teach my own a few things. They are the loveliest people in the world. Sheila especially. I love her to bits. She is a second mother to me!

A lot has happened recently. Mainly it has been me moving in with Mitchell but also the fact that my Gran Mackie (who I mentioned buying me a bike to help with my depression) dies on the 25th October 2010. We miss her all so much.

I have written this post as proof that I shall continue to post a regular blog from now on. Maybe a weekly one?

Thank you for reading. xx

Si xx

Death and Remembrance

2009-09-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

Well I'm actually going to use this blog to record my thoughts and stuff more often because it will be fun!

Well I begin with the sad news of my Aunt Roberta's death. It was her mass thingy before the funeral tonight. Im not sad at all. Not because I didn't like her, on the contrary, I loved her dearly! It's because she had no quality of life recently and I feel comfort in the thought that she's at peace now. And of course, I'll never forget her taking me to see the Harry Potter films!!

Now although I'm fine with a family members death I'm struggling to be free from feeling unhappy with the 2 recent boyfriends I had. And why is that? I don't know. I really don't. Curse you cupid and your silly arrows of heartache!!! Grrr!!!

So hopefully tomorrow will go without a hitch and I can maybe find all the Riddlers Riddles at last!!

Goodnight Aunt Roberta, Until we meet again! x

The future's Bright. The future's got suspension!

2009-04-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well I have decided to occassionally write to this blog. Even if noone reads it. Just to keep myself happy. lol

So today has been good. I'm up to 40mg of medication. Hopefully that should help. And my kind loving granmother bought me a bike today! She's the best person in the world! Only problem is that i can't get it till friday. :( But nevermind! A whole weekend of thrills, spills and chills lies ahead! Exercise and a sore arse! May as well start somewhere...

And the best part of today is this - I have now got a double bed! Yes really! Now my feet won't stick out the bottom anymore. No longer shall I have to be in the fetal position in order to get a kip!

And I even studied today! I think I'm finally starting to see an improvement!

I better go. I can feel a smile on my face. ow it hurts!

P.S. Never throw a squeaky chicken for a greyhound...

An Explanation

2009-04-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

I really don't give a toss who comes across this. As long as I have managed to express my inermost feelings to the internet where it shall stay unless I decide to delete it.

Well unless by some strange turn of events, the only person who might come across this entry would be Fiona or the people who follow the "Biomedical Science" Blog. Or maybe if I end up putting a link to this in my msn or even on bebo. Who knows.

Anyway, recently I have been overwhelmed by a load of shite thats been making me feel very very unhappy. To the point where I've been harming myself and even contemplating a pain free way of ending my life. But don't worry dear reader, I've certainly come to my senses on that front.

Last year I went to Ayr College to study Applied Science because I left school with a strong desire to further study biology. I loved every single bloody minute of it! I met the best friends I could ever hope for and got some really fantastic memories out of it! Who'd have thought that I'd be smoking and drinking? Not me. I used to be a nicey nicey do-as-you're told little mummys boy. Until I went to Ayr college. I can honestly say that I did not expect to come out of that place with new friends, new knowledge and the best times of my life! And then in May on the same day that I went on the visit to Sigma Aldrich incidentally, I started talking to this boy. He was amazing. Extremely good looking, nice and not far away from me at all! The summer was the best! Doctor Who every week and then seeing this boy. I loved him. I really did. Honestly. Without a doubt.

I left Ayr College with an incomplete HNC (probably due to the drinking sessions and the not bothering my arse to study) which meant that I couldnt get to university! Bliss! I could be with my new love for a whole other year! But what to do about the HNC? Go and do the units I missed? NO! It would be torture! Going in for only 2 days? And anyway, the class was full so Fiona said. So I decided to think big. To give myself a challenge. To prove to everyone that I wasn't a complete Fuck Up. I decided to enroll on the HND course at Kilmarnock college. maybe even getting the units i missed....

So I go for the interview. And it turns out that I HAVE to get the units I missed or I won't get the HND. Wonderful. Just great. I have to travel to Kilmarnock every single day. 2 days for just one class!

So now I can't see my boy! His mum doesnt know I'm going out with him. He doesn't want her to find out. I can't see him while his mum is there. I can't let my parents find out that I'm going out with him either... I had enough problems with telling them I was gay. NO. Can't let them know. So I decide the best thing to do is end it. Just like that. (the relationship) A snap of the fingers decision. I tell him its best if we didn't see each other anymore. I was thinking of him.

I was cut up. Totally. I loved him. I couldnt see him anymore. Why did I do that? Now I'm stuck going up to Kilmarnock every day doing a bloody hard course and coming back to this house in the arse hole of scotland with fights going on all the time between my sister and every other member of this house...

So I lost it.

I can't remember what it's like to be genuinely happy. I want my boy back. But its like setting fire to a painting by leonardo da vinci. Gone forever. No way back. Destroyed a masterpiece. The end of something beautiful...

So my only option now is this: Snap the fuck out of it. Appreciate what I have. Not what I could have. Concentrate on passing something for once. Forget about everyone. be a selfish bastard for a change. I'm no longer the stupid freak that I was at school. Only 1 actual friend. Yes just one. But I have since learned that having one friend is better than having a thousand acquaintances.

I can do it. I have the ability. But do I have the strength? We shall see. And Fiona doll, you are always right. I have these moments of seeing sense. This is one of them. Maybe its the pills...

Anyway, I'm rambling now. It feels better to have it out. Even if noone will come across it. lol I apologise for any melodrama that I may have accidentally made in this thing. Im just trying to express myself. All true. Maybe in a rather cut up way... x

P.S. Helen Cutter is such a bitch!!! Imagine shooting your own ex-husband who you cloned before in order to get information out of him on a device containing lots of mini-anomalies which you can use to avert a future disaster on mankind. or so she says... Oh and that Doctor Who episode was just fucking brilliant! Today has been good. Up until 1 hour ago.

First Post

2009-01-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

Hmm, not sure if I'll keep writing this blog. I just set it up to do the Graded Unit thingy.

Anyways. Later!

Motta Bene!